Gemini – If you get lost in the middle of nowhere, make sure to be found in the middle of somewhere.
Cancer – When you wrestle with a problem in your mind, is it Wrestlemania, a Greco-Roman match or jelly wrestling?
Leo – Is Covid-19 a strain of the virus originating in 2019 or, like WD-40, Nescafé Blend 43 or Chanel No.5 just part of a marketing campaign?
Virgo – Get a tattoo, getting old isn't guaranteed.
Libra – Life is like a camera, if you focus you will see things clearly.
Scorpio – Why is squash the only vegetable that's a verb?

Sagittarius – Is time travel a thing of the past or the way of the future?
Capricorn – Self-isolate and avoid catching hypochondria.
Aquarius – Sitting on the toilet too long can lead to hemorrhoids. Sitting on the toilet too short can lead to a shower.
Pisces – Distance yourself from stupid comments by saying "I read somewhere..."
Aries – Call your partner up in the middle of the day and start talking dirty. Give it 30 seconds and then abruptly hang up.
Taurus – Make Mercury in retrograde your chrysalis.

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