Your Mockroscope For The Month

Lazy Eye


Taurus WARNING!!!! Font size is out to get you! Why is it that a message that wants your attention is typically in large font, and a message that doesn’t want you to understand something is in fine print? Taurus, Let this be your warning.
Gemini – This month, prepare a study about whether homework for kids who were home-schooled is effective.
Cancer – Write an essay answering, “Are flight attendants waiters of the sky, or custodians of altitude common sense?”
Leo – Is ‘fighting fire with fire’ the only paradoxical safety strategy of the five elements? Create paradoxical safety strategies for managing the other four elements.
Virgo – Saying something isn't worth the paper it's written on is an immensely underestimated statement. This month, find the real cost of paper. Consider production, logistics and the environmental footprint. Do this and people will think twice about writing crap.
Libra – The wheel is one of the greatest inventions, fact! Try and conduct a yearlong study to find out what are the greatest applications of the wheel: the tire, a wheel of cheese or toilet paper?

Scorpio – Test your bravery and make the wager of your next bet to get a haircut with headphones on.
Sagittarius – If Arnold Schwarzenegger’s movie Predator has taught us one thing, it’s that natural remedies (mud) can help save our life.  Take heed of Mr Schwarzenegger and find natural remedies in his other movies, such as; Hercules in New York, Red Sonja, Kindergarten Cop and Jingle All the Way.
Capricorn – Is being fashionable just another way of saying, "Look, I'm just doing what everyone else is!" What's your fashion sense?
Aquarius – Not sure of your place at work? Just ask yourself, “What household product am I? A Toilet Brush - you deal with the shit. A vacuum – You never stop feeling like you suck. A Fork – you're best at dealing with small pieces. A Dish Cloth – You’re only useful when things get messy.
Pisces – Pay more attention to the elements. Look into the wind, listen to fire, hold water and taste the earth. It's elementary.
Aries – Effort is a virtue and virtues are an effort. If you start living your life effortlessly, where are you going to end up?