In traveling around this American land
From mountain top to beach and sand
I’ve now seen enough to confidently arrive at
The conclusion that everyone here is fucking fat

From buffet lines to crowded drive-throughs
To high end restaurants of rave reviews
These crazy folk, they eat and eat
The occasional vegetable- but mainly meat

If it can be deep fried, they’ll find a way
While the rest of us look on, deep in dismay
It seems ‘value for money’ is what’s really great
But this translates as ‘10 tons on a plate’

Fried gag on a stick, pureed goop in a bowl
Battered dredge is for dinner- just eat it all whole
Chewing is cheating, see, it takes up too much time
Christ knows if you savor it you’d uncover food crimes

The truth about why into your clothes you can’t fit:
Is that everything you’re eating is a pile of shit
Even salad comes with 300 choices of dressing
As if eating a tomato alone would be all too depressing

Who told you that tomorrow food will be cut off?
And to eat at pace, like pigs at a trough?
There’s no pause in this gorging of burgers and fries
No pause in the expansion of stomachs and thighs

Yet once meals are over and these fatties need a tow
There’s still more to be had- ‘Can I have this wrapped to go?’
As filth in the fridge it now becomes the stuff of midnight snacks
An American dream of grilled cheese and heart attacks