I never used to like the Brits
But English girls have bigger tits
And fairer skins than Aussies do
I've been there and I know its true

Croatian girls I have now met
And some the prettiest of them yet
But others miss the make up arts
And use their clothes to look like tarts

In to Dubrovnik's old Old Town
Americans in droves came down
Tanned and fit and groomed and chic
Attractive til they start to speak

From further north one left the rains
Presenting beauty, youth. And brains!
And simply shared my dining space
But put the smile back on my face

You've heard in Dublin's city fair
That girls they are so pretty there
They have the look, the style, the walk
But I could live with just their talk

I am Australian as you know
You wait for my conclusion so:
The best around they're said to be
They've never been that good to me.

But have I offered them so much
Perhaps the answer: not as such
But in Australia's commonwealth
One never ever blames one's self.