I
scrolled through the listings and sure enough some of
them were about me. Most of the listings that came up
were competitor lists from rowing programmes as I have
spent several years as a rowing coach. No surprise.
One of them was to do with a University play which I
helped produce which I was shocked to find my current
mobile phone number published. Another was a quote I
had made for an article about romance for the Sydney
Morning Herald. Cringe.
Then
I found another listing which was from an Athen's Olympics
web log. In August 2004 another Oliver Pennington had
posted a request for the Olympic Gold Medal winning
shooter, Michael Diamond. The question, which was alongside
several others from obvious gun nuts read, "i am doing
a six thinking hat project on michael diamond can you
please send some information to me ps I am doing the
hats on you because I am doing a project called masters
of the mellenium."
The
first problem I have is the Edward de Bono six hats
thing. Self help books are one of my pet hates, so I
am not at all comfortable with my namesake wanting to
know how a conceptual paradigm for lateral and creative
thinking helped Michael Diamond win Gold. (If you are
unfamiliar with de Bono and the "Six Thinking Hats"
visit www.sixhats.com)
I
also have concerns that out of all the people in the
world who he could have chosen to be the subject of
his doubly misspelt project titled "Masters of the Mellenium"
(should have read Millennium) he chose Michael Diamond.
I am sure that Diamond is an excellent marksman, and
maybe one of the greatest in Olympic history, but a
master of the millennium after not quite five years?
De Bono and Diamond? One more slip up and I'm afraid
we'll have to let you go, Mr Pennington.
I
then noticed that he had left a reply email address
in case anybody wished to respond to his comment. The
prefix of which was "fatdude_1". That was the final
straw. Oliver Pennington is not ready to carry the mantle
of the original funny fat'man.
What
irked me more than either of these trivial annoyances,
was the fact that out in there in suburban Australia
another me. An Oliver Pennington with a point of view,
who is into Edward de Bono and hats and misspellings
and guns and things that I couldn't care less about.
That is my name! Who is this impostor who has so rudely
misused my identity? Then I had the thought that he
might be older than me. Does this mean that I am the
impostor?
Amongst
the other listings were several other Oliver Penningtons,
Ollie Penningtons, Oli Penningtons and OJ Penningtons
and all the other permutations of my name. They come
from all over the English speaking world and from other
times and places in history. I felt an irrational sense
of pride (or was that narcissism?) to be a member of
this group defined by little more than a name that was
becoming increasingly common with each listing I clicked
my cursor on.
I
then started "Googling" family members, friends, ex'girlfriends,
colleagues and acquaintances and was surprised to find
the number of listings that I did. Most were from University
or sporting associations and clubs, and a few workmates
had been quoted in industry publications. All the entries
I found were innocuous. For instance I did not find
out that my brother was really the leader of a Satanic
cult, or that a work colleague was moonlighting as a
male porn star. What I discovered was no more saucy
than finding a familiar name in the BDM notices or White
Pages.
As
corporations, institutions and individuals replace
paper with digital archives it is likely that there
will be more and more personal information freely
available about all of us scattered across the internet.
Will it soon be possible to track the personal or
professional history of almost anyone with a few minutes
tinkering around on an internet search engine?
The
threat of identity theft, and horror tales of disappearing
bank balances and surprise credit card purchases have
been with us since that terrible movie The Net
was released in the '90s. But as commerce relies more
and more upon the internet as a marketplace, the protection
of our financial details will become more important
to banks and vendors alike. The misuse of customer
details would surely jeopardize the reputation of
any business. I do not think we should be overly worried
about this.
My
concern is that the freedom of access to information
about individuals will take some of the mystery out
of life. Instead of discovering the trivialities about
our friends, family and acquaintances through the
Grapevine, we may stumble across the same information
on the internet, but without the subjective element.
The Grapevine has a habit of exaggerating or understating
certain aspects of the truth, and in doing so creates
heroes and villains alike. The latter does not. Imagine
my great'grandson, who might well bear my initials,
in some future time "Googling" his name only to find
this article. "I had heard that my great'grandfather
was a fine visionary and brilliant intellect," he
might think, "but now I know he was little more than
a hack."