We
were told that he crashed the ultra'light plane he was
piloting, and almost in the same sentence he told us that
Walton was one of the wealthiest men in the world, worth
some 18 billion dollars. The newsman then somberly pointed
out the kin he left behind. Although I probably won't
say anything that hasn't already been said concerning
death, this last part of the report got me to wondering;
When we die, are we leaving the living behind or do the
living move on, leaving us behind?
When
attempting to address this question, one has to look back
upon one's own life, look at the present, and then try
to predict what the future holds. It then has to be determined
which idea is more comforting for one's own piece of mind.
When I made my attempt to answer this question, I looked
back on my own life and found that the notion of being
left behind does feel familiar to me, dating back to my
childhood. In fact, it only took one incident to make
me feel that being left behind was an unpleasant proposition.
I was about three years old when my Mom and Dad informed
me they were going out for a while. I was told that I'd
be staying home with the baby sitter, and that I was to
...be good.... Well, when my parents finally returned,
they both had ice cream cones. From then on, until I was
around seven my parents never went anywhere together without
me until I received a good spanking for throwing a temper
tantrum. My point is, I didn't want to be left behind
for fear of what I might be missing out on.
There
were times though when I certainly did like being left
behind. I liked being left behind on those occasions when
my mother took my sister shopping, to the beauty salon,
and to ballet lessons. I also liked being left behind
when the rest of my family went over to my Aunt Kathy's
house. She had a way of planting a nasty wet kiss on my
cheek that made me think of a slug crawling across my
face. My point here is, as a kid there were a lot of occasions
when being left behind meant that I'd be spared having
to endure unpleasant circumstances. So, when I die, I
wonder what unpleasant circumstances I'll not have to
endure.
When
my little sister was growing up, I grew to understand
just how truly liberating the idea of leaving others behind
could be. You see, my sister was like an accessory that
came with me at no additional charge. Wherever I went,
she followed. Fortunately this wasn't all the time. There
were, in fact, rare occasions when I had the opportunity
to run and play with the other boys without her. It was
these times when I could work on my spitting and cussing
proficiency, and when I would turn into a 'big'shot' in
front of my friends. This freedom induced a certain euphoria
and buried my inhibitions, and I confidently did all those
forbidden things I wouldn't have done when she was around
for fear of her tattling on me. So you see, the idea of
leaving others behind isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Neither
is it necessarily a good thing. One afternoon, I was dared
by four of my so'called friends to put our biology projects
(dissected earthworms), into our teacher's handbag. Well,
after the teacher regained consciousness, and after my
four snickering 'friends' were done pointing at me, I
was dragged to the principal's office (alone) by my left
ear lobe. It was only seconds later when, my 'singled
out' fanny (ass/arse, Ed.) became well acquainted with
Mr.
Barefield's paddle. In this case, leaving others behind
was a bad thing. I was angry because I was dragged away
leaving my four 'friends' behind.
Having
looked at the past, I then looked at the present, and
used it to imagine what the future might be like after
I'm gone. Currently, I see that everything is more costly
than ever, making it harder and harder for common people
to get by. Also, we humans are consuming the world's natural
resources at an alarming rate, and there is a pervasive
feeling of discontent affecting almost everyone I know.
In addition, man has gone so far against nature by either
doing things, or allowing things that are such blatant
challenges of its authority, that I wonder how long it
will be before it retaliates. Specifically, unnatural
'Lifestyle' choices, as well as growing babies outside
of mothers, and killing babies inside them are a few examples.
Presently,
we are contending with war, famine, mysterious diseases,
terrorist sleeper'cells, and a whole myriad of other
problems. Sadly, I've concluded that the future probably
isn't going to be a place I would want to continue living
in. I think that I will welcome the day that I leave
everyone else behind, or that I get left behind by the
living. When that day comes, I don't think this debate
will matter much though, since at that moment, looking
at it either way will be comforting. I hope.
Daniel
Taverne is a disabled veteran who has experience in
bricklaying, Occupational therapy and writing. You can
view more of his work at http://www.dtaverne.blogspot.com
