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Modern Classics for Literature Snobs
The
Scarlet Letter ' Nathaniel Hawthorne ' Hester Prynne,
the saucy harlot, is  condemned
to wear a red letter 'A' on her breast wherever she goes
in Puritan era New England as a mark of her adultery. Yes,
this is essentially pure soap opera, but there's a creepy,
Gothic atmosphere at work here that separates it from the
competition.
The
Fall of the House of Usher ' Edgar Allen Poe ' And
speaking of creepy, Gothic atmosphere, it doesn't get much
better than this tale of our Narrator visiting his troubled
boyhood friend Roderick Usher in an eerie English manor.
The horrific climax will send you hiding under the sheets.
100
Years of Solitude ' Gabriel Garcia Marquez ' Tells
the tale of how the Buendia family and the small town of
Macondo find a place in the world. Magical Realism at its
best. For extra mileage with culturally aware ladies, combine
with Love in the Time of Cholera and a popular backpacking
destination.
The
Great Gatsby ' F Scott Fitzgerald ' We didn't really
read this properly at school when we should have, but have
re-read it many times since with enthusiasm. Gatsby is the
Robbie Williams of the '20s ' guys want to be him and girls
want to be with him. Likening Castle Hill to West Egg will
bring the house down at old money soirees.
 Ulysses
' James Joyce ' No-one has actually read this book in its
entirety, but it is still fun to pretend. If you can throw
in references from Homer's Odyssey when discussing June
16th you get extra brownie points.
The
Grapes of Wrath ' John Steinbeck ' Felled by the Depression,
the Joad family head west to California in hope of better
times. Ha! Perhaps not the best choice of book to pick up
if you're looking for something 'light and breezy'.
Crime
and Punishment ' Fyodor Dostoevsky ' Any literature
snob must be familiar with a little Russian literature,
and Nabokov is too well rooted in pop-culture and Tolstoy
is too damn long. This tale of theft, murder and remorse
is fantastic and not too difficult to conquer, but still
set aside a few weeks.
Oliver
Twist ' Charles Dickens ' If at all so you can say
learn to say things like 'Allo Guvna'!' and 'Shine ya' shoes,
Guv?'
Gravity's
Rainbow ' Thomas Pynchon ' The definition of post-modern.
This encyclopaedic beast is a tough read with hundreds of
characters and thousands of clever allusions and tangental
sub-plots, but worth it if only for the Un Perm au Casino
Hermann Goering episode. Great for accumulating cultural
capital.
Henderson
the Rain King ' Saul Bellow ' Henderson, unhappy with
his life, and feeling sick 'not physically, but mentally',
leaves his wife and children behind in America and embarks
on an expedition to Africa where he inexplicably climbs
the ranks of the native Wariri tribe. If you enjoy accounts
of frogs being blown up, this book is for you.
And
10 Books That You May Actually Enjoy
 Bonfire
of the Vanities ' Tom Wolfe _ Don't bother watching
the movie (we're serious, DO NOT watch the movie). This
tale of Sherman McCoy, the Wall Street 'Master of the
Universe' is a cracking satire of 1980's New York. For
a taste of Wolfe's non-fiction, try his excellent The
Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.
On
The Road ' Jack Kerouac ' The book that defined the
Beat Generation. Marvel as Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty
tear back and forth across America on an erratic quest
to find some purpose and contentment in their lives without
wreaking too much havoc on those around them.
Night
Shift ' Stephen King ' Not exactly what some would
consider 'high art', but what do they know? This collection
of short stories from the horror master certainly has
plenty of memorable chills and artery leaks ' 'Children
of the Corn', 'The Mangler' and 'The Man Who Loved Flowers'
to name a few. But some of his tales not devoted to horror
of any kind _ 'The Last Rung on the Ladder', and 'The
Woman in the Room' in particular _ will pleasantly surprise
you.
One
Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest ' Ken Kesey' Randall
Patrick McMurphy, sent to a mental hospital, finds head
nurse Mildred Ratched is more dangerous than the other
patients he's confined with. For fans of the Boston Celtics
basketball team, there's an added bonus: you can find
out where future Hall of Fame center Robert 'The Chief'
Parish's nickname originated.
The
Hobbit ' J.R.R Tolkien _ Yes, perhaps lately we've
had more than enough of hobbits, elves, dragons and the
like, but this precursor to The Lord of the Rings is a
welcome adventure into the realm of fantasy for both children
and adults.
My
Uncle Oswald ' Roald Dahl ' Anything by Dahl is brilliant,
even his books for kids like The Twits. I guarantee that
you will read this in its entirety in just one sitting.
The infectious premise of this tale is only surpassed
by The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar.
 A
Farewell to Arms ' Ernest Hemingway ' Could easily
fit into the snob list, but we actually enjoyed reading
this. Not recommended for anyone in love and planning
to start a family soon.
The
Loaded Dog ' Henry Lawson ' Not to be mistaken with
The Cud columnist of the same name. A ripping yarn of
Australian bush life written by the guy on the old $10
note with the well'muscled face and impressive moustache.
Moby
Dick ' Herman Melville ' This epic adventure will
captivate anyone interested in things trivial. It will
also inspire even the staunchest Greenie that there is
room for at least one whaling expedition in a lifetime.
 Born
to Win ' John Bertrand ' We had to finish with an
uplifting, non-fiction tome, but didn't want to admit
to enjoying Losing my Virginity, Sex, Drugs & Mum
In The Front Row would have been too unashamedly self'serving
(ahem...), and Kitchen Confidential has been celebrated
enough. Forget the self'help books, this story of how
Australia won the America's Cup from the Yanks is bound
to inspire.
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